


Wash KO's Depression

by 9foxgrl



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alien Technology, Angst, Background Grimmons, Comedy, Gen, fighting your inner demons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-27 22:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16228979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/9foxgrl/pseuds/9foxgrl
Summary: Inspired by a post by gilgamesh-gussy-indulgence. On a random mission, the team uncovers an alien machine that literally lets you fight your inner demons. Wash LITERALLY gets to beat the fuck out of his depression.





	Wash KO's Depression

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a post by [gilgamesh-gussy-indulgence>](https://grimmtaless.tumblr.com/post/177552131562/grimmtaless-gilgamesh-gussy-indulgence-real)

Wash KO’s Depression

It was supposed to just be a quick mission and Locus’s first as an official member of Red Team. The former mercenary had been granted a sort of amnesty from Kimball while Tucker and Carolina were recovering from their injuries from that latest debacle the colorful marines had fallen into. In exchange for helping to clear out some hidden bandit nests and retrieving alien technology that was scattered in the planet’s wilderness, she would pardon him and allowed for people from another colony to relocate to Chorus.

Why Locus was so insistent on this clause was anyone’s guess.

“So how did you get volunteered for this?” Wash asked Simmons curiously. The maroon soldier was casually leaning against the gun mounted in front of him reading off a data-pad stolen from Charon scientists, despite the numerous potholes and rough terrain they were driving across. Undoubtedly, compared to Grif’s crazy driving, Wash’s was just a mellow Sunday drive to church.

“Sarge is at the hospital, Lopez is hiding and Donut’s having mani-pedis with Caboose and Carolina.” Simmons stated casually.

“What about Grif?” Locus asked.

“He’s on laundry duty.”

“And he agreed to that?” Wash stated.

“If he wants to get laid tonight he will.” Simmons replied offhandedly.  

 “Did you find out what is this relic we’re after yet?” Locus asked, quick to change the subject.

“Not much, the notes claim that it was a sort of area where warriors tested their might against some kind of challenge,” Simmons replied as he continued reading the data pad as the warthog hit a hill too fast and flew a foot in the air before coming down hard. “The scientists couldn’t get in because they weren’t warriors and the ones who did manage to get in didn’t come back out in one piece.”

“It killed them?”

“Not physically, they were emotionally distraught. So much that they had to be removed from service and the area restricted.”

“So, it’s like the Jungle Temple.” Locus said uneasily.

“No, the notes from Santa says the artifact inside is supposed to allow warriors to face their inner doubts and cleanse themselves,” Simmons replied as he continued reading. “Apparently the ones who got in didn’t get ‘purified’ completely.”

“Well, that’s just disturbing.”

The location wasn’t that fancy compared to other temples of Chorus. It was roughly the size of a pelican, partially underground and the entrance so overgrown that Locus had to cut them a path with his sword. There were numerous alien inscriptions along the walls. But in the center of the room was a doll sitting on a pedestal in the middle of a ring. Or at least, it was what appeared to be a doll. It was roughly the size of one of those baby dolls that Wash’s sisters used to play with, except it had a glowing orb for a head and no actual fingers or toes.

“What is that thing?” Locus asked Simmons who was scanning the inscriptions into the translation.

“According to the translator…it called the _Golem of Madness_ ; created to allowed veteran warriors to fight their inner self in order to be purified.”

“The aliens created a way to fight their PTSD?” Locus stated incredulously. He looked cautiously over towards the doll that Wash was scanning. “With a doll?”

“It just says ‘Enter the ring and be purified.”

“So, the doll is the artifact?” Wash stated aloud as he took a cautious step forward, only for the doll to fly off the pedestal and emit a bright light. Despite his HUD, Wash had to cover his eyes to prevent himself from going blind. When the light dimmed down he looked up only to see himself standing there without a helmet in the ring. “Oh, son of a bitch.”

“Hi there.” The Other Wash! replied with a grin, its eyes were the same color as the glowing orb.

“What are you?” Wash asked. _‘Wait…where did Locus and Simmons go?’_

“We’re you. We are the very representation of everything we hate about ourselves.” The Other! Wash replied. “And if you’re wondering where your friends are, they’re waiting outside the ring. We can’t let them disturb the purification ceremony, now can we?”

“We’re you listening? I’m everything you hate about yourself. Anxiety, Your self-doubt, your depression, hell I’m even your freaking PTSD.”

“No…no this is impossible.”

“Any more impossible than having an AI try to kill itself inside your head?” Other! Wash asked. “Or seeing your own best friend brainwash and manipulated by one until he was nothing more than a husk.”

“Shut up.”

“Does Carolina know you used to blame her for causing all this?” the Other! Wash asked. “If only she could have played nice with Texas than Sigma wouldn’t have gone to Maine and all your friends wouldn’t be dead.”

“That’s not true.”

“Of course, it’s true.” Other! Wash goaded. “Just like its true that your friends all walked passed you after the ship crashed. They didn’t even turn around to help you when you cried out for help.”

“Shut up!”

“Poor David, nobody wanted you. Nobody ever tried to save you.”

 “I SAID SHUT UP!” Wash roared. He took out a knife and charge the being. Other! Wash took out his own and easily countered the strike.

“And to think, this all could have been prevented if you never enlisted to escape your father.”

(Outside the Ring)

“CAN’T YOU TRANSLATE ANY FASTER?” Locus shouted as he helplessly watches the fight inside the field.

“SHUT UP! I SUCK UNDER PRESSURE!” Simmons shouted as he ran the translator over the alien inscriptions.

“You-HOW THE FUCK DID YOU BECOME A MARINE?”

“I WAS A SIM-TROOPER FOR A REASON YOU COCK BITE!” Simmons screamed back. “SHIT! IT SAYS THE ONLY WAY TO STOP IT, IS FOR THE WARRIOR TO KILL IT INSIDE THE RING!”

“WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS THING?”

(Inside the Ring)

Wash was screaming as he fought the Other! Wash. Since it was a perfect duplicate, it was able to counter every blow, but it never went on the offense. It only blocked his strikes while targeting him verbally.

“We got stabbed in the back by our friends, but the man who we were supposed to trust. It must be something we’re doing, why else do they use and abandon us?”

“SHUT UP ALREADY!” Wash shouted as he tried to stab the doppelganger only to overstep and fall on his face. His knife falling out of his reach.

“Just face it.” Other! Wash commented as he kicked away the knife. “Nobody would even care if we died.”

“Nobody…would care?”

“No one.”

Wash’s eyes started to blur as they filled with tears.

_‘It’s true…no one cared…no one ever wanted to help me…I joined the military…to get away from dad…my friends…they all heard me screaming for help…but they left me…they left me to be their toy…why? Why?’_

And suddenly, his HUD pinged with a calendar reminder that tonight was Movie Night.

Movie nights were a staple to the team, a once a week-sometimes twice-tradition they started since Valhalla. Once they realized they didn’t have to watch that poorly made remake of _Reservoir Dogs_ anymore. Caboose loved Disney and romantic comedies. Sarge always seemed to pick an old western that would put half of the group to sleep, Donut was into musicals and spy films Simmons and Grif would trade off between sci-fi and cheesy horror films. And no one dared breathe a word when Carolina would bring out her beloved _Harry Potter_ movies unless it was to make fun of the movie in comparison to the books.

And Tucker…Wash was almost positive he chose movies with sexy leading ladies and men and then practically sit in his lap just to watch him squirm.

“My team cares…Tucker…Caboose, Carolina…hell even Sarge would cry for me.” Wash told himself as he shakily stood up. “They’ve had enough chances, but they never did…”

“So, how are you going to escape if you can’t kill me?” Other! Wash asked.

Wash stood up and punched the doppelganger in the face. This time the Other! Wash didn’t try to block him as he punched him again, and again until the the Other! Wash's face was bloody. 

_“KALI MA!”_ Wash screamed as he shoved his hand into the doppelganger’s chest.

Other Wash! grinned as its body started to flood with light. “Well, it looks like you made your choice. Good luck to you warrior, you have been purified.”

Wash suddenly had a rush of images run into his head and then…darkness.

* * *

 

“Wash! WASH! Wake up!”

“Agent Washington; are you hurt?”

Wash opened his eyes and had to blink a few times to get the two soldiers standing above him in focus.

“Where’s my helmet?” he slurred.

“We took it off, your life support systems shut down.” Locus commented.

“Oh…guess I lost control. A little.”

 “A LITTLE! Dude, you just went _Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom_ style on your inner angst!” Simmons shrieked.

“Oh…no wonder I feel so relaxed.”  Wash drunkenly laughed before throwing his arms in the air. “I’M A ROCKSTAR!”

“That’s it, I’m driving us back,” Locus grumbled as he tossed the Freelancer over his shoulder. “Simmons…you deal with the doll.”

“Right…deal with it,” Simmons replied uneasily as he looked at the still glowing alien tech. In the end, he just shoved it into an ammo box and stuck in on the warthog under a fuel can. He could add some chains and padlocks when they got back.

 “How long…how long was I in there?”

“You were in the ring for an hour and unconscious for less than that…we thought we were going to have to call in an extraction.”

“No…don't...do that…Carol…Carolina…would have…ran from Grey…again…”  

 “I had…some really crazy dreams.” Wash giggled as Locus placed him in the shotgun seat. “I had a hook for a hand! And a half-fish son, it was very weird.”

“Does it say anything about them talking nonsense?” Locus asked as the cyborg jumped in the back so they could finally leave.

“If the warrior is victorious, they are granted a glimpse of their past lives so they can learn from their mistakes.”

“I talked to skeletons! And I pimp slapped a lady with a cane. I LOVE COFFEE!”

"He should be okay once he sleeps it off." Simmons stated as they hit a pothold so hard that Wash's head hit he back of his seat and knocked him out. 

“…If the Blues asked we found him like this.”

“Agreed.”


End file.
